Battle of the Ages

Battle of the Ages

Free resources help families overcome resistance of seniors who need help

Just when you thought that a family caregiver’s job couldn’t get more difficult, consider this: Many of the estimated 79,500 households caring for a senior in Jefferson and Shelby Counties are trying to help an aging relative who’d rather not have help.

A study of family caregivers who responded to a survey on caregiverstress.com revealed that more than half of the respondents (51 percent) said that their aging relative was very resistant to care. These seniors often object to help whether it’s from their own children or a professional who tries to come into their homes to assist.

“This is a real problem for family caregivers worried about the safety of a senior loved one who might be forgetting food on the stove or neglecting to take their medications,” said Dan Pahos, owner of the Home Instead Senior Care® office serving the Birmingham area.

But experts say that keeping fiercely independent seniors safe at home isn’t a lost cause; there are solutions for them and their family caregivers. That’s why the Home Instead Senior Care network is launching Caring for Your Parents: Education for the Family Caregiver.

The unique, educational program includes a number of resources that address senior resistance to care as well as a variety of other topics such as choosing an in-home care provider, the signs of aging, long distance caregiving and communicating with aging parents. The free materials and videos are available at www.caregiverstress.com.

Why do seniors resist help? “If seniors admit they need help, they feel their independence is in question,” said Pahos. “Seniors believe that once they acknowledge they need help, they’ll lose control of their affairs. They are trying to maintain dignity. Unless they feel they can trust someone, they resist change. I believe it’s the fear that life as they’ve known it will be taken away from them.”

Sometimes seniors only want help from a son or daughter, which can put undue pressure on that family caregiver who feels he or she can’t call for professional help. Most caregivers can go into “crisis mode” to rally around a loved one in the short-term, “but you can't be totally immersed in a crisis mode long-term without your own family, work and health suffering,” according to family caregiving consultant Dr. Amy D’Aprix, who holds a Ph.D. and master’s degree in social work and is author of From Surviving to Thriving: Transforming Your Caregiving Experience.

The strain can take a particular toll on working family caregivers. The Home Instead Senior Care study revealed that 42 percent of caregivers spend more than 30 hours a week caregiving. That’s the equivalent of a second full-time job.

And that’s what makes countering that resistance to assistance so important. “Many times family caregivers make assumptions but never ask: ‘Mom, I’ve noticed that every time I bring up having someone come in to assist, you don’t want help. Why is that?’ Sometimes the parent doesn’t realize they’re being resistant,” D’Aprix added.

“Also, reassuring a senior loved one that you have the same goal in mind will help,” D’Aprix said. “Start with: ‘My goal for you is to be independent, too. You know I can’t be here all the time. A little extra assistance will help you stay at home.’”

Pahos said the battle to turn resistance into assistance can be fierce, like seniors who call police when a professional caregiver shows up. “Education can help arm family caregivers with the tools they need to create a win-win for everyone.”

Home Instead Center for Successful Aging Celebrates Grand Opening

Home Instead Center for Successful Aging celebrates grand opening in July.

Monday, July 26 marked a shining moment for the Home Instead Senior Care network as 250 people gathered to celebrate the grand opening of the Home Instead Center for Successful Aging in Omaha.

Local, state and national figures lauded the principal donors, Paul and Lori Hogan, as well as the other benefactors and the University of Nebraska Medical Center for partnering to help seniors age better and live healthier lives. The center is the only geriatric center in the state that offers comprehensive care for older adults. Services include a geriatric medicine clinic, geriatric psychiatry clinic and clinical trials involving geriatric-specific disorders.

The center has more than local and regional distinction, however, said Sharon Brangman, president of the American Geriatrics Society, which represents more than 7,000 home-care professionals who care for older adults. Few centers in the country take such a comprehensive approach to geriatric care, said Dr. Brangman, chief of geriatric medicine at State University of New York Upstate Medical University.

“I really see this as a complete example of how we can provide care to older adults,” Dr. Brangman said. “It’s a model that could be disseminated to other parts of the country.”

Paul told the crowd that the center is part of Home Instead’s vision and the vision of UNMC’s Dr. Jane Potter to create better care for seniors and a more optimistic view of aging. “We simply want to be part of the solution to better aging.”

Dr. Potter, professor and chief of the section of geriatrics and gerontology at UNMC, thanked the Hogans and others for their contributions.

“Home Instead Senior Care knows the importance of not only paying attention to the physical needs of their clients but also their social, spiritual, intellectual and emotional health,” Dr. Potter said. “The Home Instead Center for Successful Aging hopes to work in partnership with Home Instead Senior Care and its network of 50,000 CAREGivers to learn how best to assist people to age successfully in their homes.”

Lori shared with the crowd how the network’s excitement extends to our international franchise partners and CAREGivers, who have expressed enthusiasm about being a part of studies that can help seniors age better. After she and Paul presented Dr. Potter with a bouquet of flowers, the audience stood and applauded.

The three-story, $10.2 million building was open to invited guests for self-guided tours, and a public open house is set for Saturday, July 31st. The center opens for business Sept. 13th.

Tipping Point: Happy Memories or Household Hazards?

Local Senior Care Company Advises Family Caregivers to Help Older Adults De-Clutter During Spring Cleaning to Avoid Home Dangers

While clutter is not a problem unique to seniors, conditions of aging including strokes, brain trauma and dementia can lead to disorder and chaos that could threaten seniors’ home safety and independence, experts say. It’s a problem all too familiar to family caregivers.

“A lifetime accumulation of possessions combined with an influx of daily junk mail, bills, newspapers and magazines can quickly overwhelm seniors who are struggling physically, mentally or emotionally,” said Dan Pahos, owner of the local Home Instead Senior Care franchise office serving the Birmingham area.

Experts say even seniors who simply don’t know how to part with their possessions are vulnerable. The risks are many from slipping on loose papers to the threat of fire to the health effects of mold and mildew. Clutter can also interfere with family relationships and leave adult children wondering if the only inheritance awaiting them is a big mess.

“Spring is a great time for family caregivers to help seniors de-clutter for their own health and

well-being,” Pahos said.

“Cluttering – for those with this tendency – probably has been happening for years, but a ‘trigger episode’ such as going into a wheelchair or a health issue could worsen the problem,” said Katherine “Kit” Anderson, CPO-CD, president of the non-profit National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization (NSGCD) and a certified professional organizer. While the source of clutter can be anything from outdated medications to a kitchen full of unused pots and pans, paper is the biggest clutter culprit, Anderson said.

“It’s sort of the elephant in the room,” added Dr. Catherine Roster, a University of New Mexico clutter researcher. “People don’t want to acknowledge there is a problem, which creates an underlying anxiety, stress, guilt or embarrassment that can have a negative effect on their mental health and productivity. There are a lot of issues including economics. When there is general disorganization, people lose important documents and can’t find bills and then miss payments. So some serious issues start affecting them. All the research shows that people are slow to recognize the problem.”

In order to identify potential trouble, the Home Instead Senior Care network is alerting family caregivers to watch for the signs in a senior’s home that indicate clutter creep could become a problem including piles of mail and unpaid bills, difficulty walking safely through a home and frustration on the part of a senior trying to organize.

“Family caregivers can become just as overwhelmed as seniors,” said Home Instead Senior Care’s Pahos. “We suggest a three-step plan where the family caregiver brings three bins -- one for the stuff the senior wants to keep, one for donations and the other for trash. Sometimes seniors just need a little help.”